Back-To-School = Not-For-Me

 

It felt really weird, but for the first time in thirty years I didn't get a kid ready to go back to school.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  A few months ago I gathered up all the extra office supplies and grabbed the school supply bin and had my girls go through and take what they wanted for college.  After they loaded up I put what was leftover in a bag and donated it.  I no longer have a school supply bin to add to in preparation of this annual event.

 

We didn't go shopping this spring and summer for shoes and clothes on clearance to set aside for Fall.  We didn't go to the thrift stores to find items to fill in the gaps and this fall I won't be picking up the clearance backpacks for a buck or two to set aside for when they need one.

 

I didn't go through the plastic lunch containers or the insulated bags and freezer packs.  I didn't make a new list of lunch ideas for them to pack.  Along with the extra school supplies I also donated their lunch box items.  I didn't do any special grocery shopping for items they might bring to school to eat or for snacking between classes.

 

My youngest headed off for her first year of college, but there wasn't any fanfare about it.  We had been preparing for this for so long and she actually moved out in July, well ahead of the first day of school, with all of her boxes of items we'd been squirreling away.  She didn't need anything new to take with her.

 

One thing I'm very happy about is that there is no check I need to write for school registration and school pictures, although I think I'll miss those annual pictures a little bit.  Normally, I'm gearing myself up for the onslaught of scheduled practices, concerts, conferences, meetings, events.  This year my schedule is clear and I've got nothing on the docket.  It is kind of surreal.

 

Once your youngest has left home there is nothing quite like Back-To-School time to make you realize just how done you are.  It is final.  I've raised my children to be very much ready and prepared for life on their own.  They want their independence and to do things on their own, I totally respect that.  I'm not sad about the finality of my role as their parent or the lack of the back-to-school process and responsibilities.  It just feels weird to not have to do any of that.

 

What does feel good is that now, as their mom, I'm just Mom.  We can talk and visit, but for the most part, I get to what I want.  When I want.  How I want.  I get to schedule my own stuff.  I don't have to work around school schedules and events.  I don't have to deal with the school stuff anymore.  It feels weird.  It feels really weird.