I Defied The Odds!

 

Single parents tend to get a bad rap and to be honest, a lot of single parents do use their “single status” as an excuse as to why they go into debt, can’t make ends meet, have no savings or fail at whatever “married couples” succeed at so that isn’t helpful.  Dual income families are deemed to be more successful than single income families.  In fact, it is often thought that it is impossible to succeed without two incomes.  Fortunately for me, that hasn’t been true at all.

 

I became a single mom, a very determined single mom, in 1987.  I wanted the best possible life for both of us so when my son was six months old I put him in daycare, enrolled at a technical college and went back to school while working a part time job as a CNA at a nursing home to make rent and pay the bills.  I took out the minimal amounts in student loans I could and practiced super frugality.

 

Once I was out of school and had a job in my chosen field my focus was to pay off my student loans as quickly as possible while continuing to live frugally.  I also participated in my employer’s 401(k) plan as soon as I was eligible.  They matched 3% so I made sure to contribute what I needed to in order to get those matching dollars so I didn’t leave anything on the table.  I didn’t make a whole lot, but I made that and company health insurance benefits a priority.

 

The first thing I did after I got that job and filed my income taxes was to use that money to fund a $200 emergency fund and stock my pantry.  The next year I added to my savings and restocked my pantry and again the following year.  Consistently doing this fueled me to keep going.  After eight years of scrimping and saving I had saved enough for a down payment and I bought my first home.  I continued to save money, upgrade and improve my home and raise my son.

 

In 2000 I submitted my application to adopt my older daughter and three years later I did it again to adopt my youngest child.  I raised three wonderful children, kept them healthy, well fed, provided them with opportunities and extracurricular activities, like tee ball, taekwondo and karate, band, orchestra, dance, etc. and never made excuses.  We had pets, family vacations, camp trips and fun.  All of my children have been to Disneyland.  We didn’t just survive, we thrived.  Bonus points – all of my kiddos have gone to college and have degrees.

 

My parents did not pay for their children to attend college and neither did I, but we all went.  We figured it out on our own.  My parents instilled in all of us kids a strong work ethic and taught us how to be capable, resourceful and responsible adults and I carried that forward when I raised my own kids.  I also taught my children about money and how to save and responsibly spend it.  The biggest thing I did was to set a good example for them follow.

 

In the process I was able to live a thrifty, debt free lifestyle, launch my kids out of the nest with the tools they needed to live out in the world on their own and save for my retirement.  Then I retired early at age 57 after forty eight years in the workforce.  Yes, I had my first job at age 9 and my first savings account at that age too.  Prior to that age I had a piggy bank where I saved my change and squirreled away whatever I could “for a rainy day”.

 

I did a lot of side hustles along the way - babysitting, bookkeeping and tax preparation, graphic design, sewing and alterations, you name it, I did it.  Likewise, from an early age my children did too – babysitting, house and pet sitting, working fast food and at the neighborhood grocery store.  Like me, they all spent a little and saved most of their earnings so by the time they graduated high school they had quite a nest egg to start off with.  They also had a car, bought and paid for along with the basic knowledge to take care of that vehicle.

 

I made no excuses, tried hard, worked harder and always lived well below my means while I saved and invested money for my future.  Now that I am retired I do have a part time job which covers my groceries, gas and monthly expenses so I can continue to grow my wealth and be better prepared for my future when working is no longer an option for me.  As I sit now, if I were unable to work due to a change in my health or a job loss I’d be okay.  Knowing that I am financially set for the remainder of my life because of all the hard work I’ve put in so far is an amazing place to be.  If a single woman can accomplish this on her own while raising a family, then anyone can.  No excuses.