I
am incredibly grateful and feel very blessed and fortunate for the year we just
had. It was definitely a year like no
other filled with new experiences, concerns, fears and even some of the same
old ones too. 2020 taught me a lot. It challenged me in ways I did not
expect. Although it started out on a
familiar note I can definitely say 2020 was not the year I had expected it to
be. And all I can say about that is -
Thank you.
I
began the year hoping to get on top of some lingering debt and entertaining the
possibility of paying off my car even though I had a 0% interest rate on the
loan. At the very least, my goal was to
have it all paid off by the time my youngest daughter graduated from high
school in the spring of 2023. A
reasonable goal to be sure and quite manageable as long as nothing else cropped
up in the meantime. I had already been
derailed twice before by unforeseen medical bills, but nonetheless I was
hopeful. Then the pandemic hit.
The
rat race that was our life and had been for the past ten years game to a
grinding halt. As a mom with two very
active and busy children August through June represented me orchestrating and
coordinating more schedules, homework, tests, drop offs, pick ups, payments,
fundraising, concerts, events, competitions, conferences, festivals, practices,
games, tryouts, sports physicals, dentist and orthodontist appointments,
uniform fittings, etc. than seemed humanly possible for one person to do. But I did it.
Religiously and without fail my girls made it to every appointment and
obligation they had and somehow we managed the expenses to go along with all of
it. All while I worked a full time job
and managed our house and a boatload of home improvement projects.
On
Friday March 13, 2020, yes that was a Friday the 13th, our lives
changes in a VERY BIG way and I am so glad that they did. We moved my oldest out of her college dorm
and back home and both girls waited while their respective schools scrambled to
get online schooling up and running.
While they waited both got jobs at our neighborhood supermarket which
was also scrambling due to all the recent panic shopping and sudden
shortages. I immediately stopped running
around like a chicken with my head cut off, stood back and just breathed. Things were happening all around me with a
lot of chaos and uncertainty. The news
was going crazy with all kinds of misinformation and contradiction. It was enough to make ones head spin.
It
took a couple of weeks for the dust to begin to settle although there was still
no toilet paper on the shelves to speak of, but in that time as we headed into
lockdown I realized just how uncertain life could be. On a very grand scale. Because I work in the medical field as a
patient care coordinator I wasn’t concerned about losing my job, but I was very
much aware that it could happen. No
guarantees. And that knowledge spurned
me into action. I had to be prepared to
take care of myself and my family because at the time things were a little bit
out of hand. The vast majority of
people, or so it seemed, were out of control, driven by fear of the unknown and
a strange virus they had never heard of before. Our government was at odds with
each other over exactly what we should be doing, the media was sensationalizing
everything, virus related deaths were beginning to grow and people were losing
their jobs at a rapid fire rate. It was
pretty scary.
I
could have bought into all the panic and fear mongering. I could have joined those people glued to
their TVs, laptops and cellphones freaking out over everything they were
hearing and seeing. I could have watched
the rioting and protesting that started up and been overly affected by the
hostility and negativity plaguing our large cities. I could have joined in on the deplorably bad
behavior that was being demonstrated and gotten really, really angry. I could have become selfish and rude and mean
and thoughtless and careless. I could
have felt sorry for myself or become depressed.
But I didn’t. I didn’t do any of
those things.
Instead,
I turned to a higher power and I asked for His guidance to help me navigate the
days ahead. Because this thing was far
bigger than what I could manage on my own.
And I thanked Him every day, multiple times a day in fact, for all that
I had and all that I was given as each day unfolded. And I seriously
got my shit together! I didn’t sit back
and wait for something to happen. Or for
someone to do something. I was that
someone and I did something. I acted. And we made it! We made it through 2020. And because of everything I did and everything
I learned about myself in the process I know what is truly important and how I
want to live my life moving forward and what I need to do to make it
happen. So I say a big resounding THANK
YOU to 2020. I couldn’t have done it
without you.