We Need To Be Careful

This is kind of a heavy piece to post but it has been on my heart for awhile so I thought I'd share.  I know we have all been in situations like this, both the front side and the back, and can probably relate.  I'm curious as to how you feel when you are faced with this type of scenario.

A very good friend of mine I have known for many years is going through a divorce.  She married him less than three years ago and under circumstances most of us wouldn't have even considered.  The fact that the marriage is not sustainable and divorce is most likely imminent probably would not be of any great surprise to anyone who knew the full story.  But that isn't the greatest issue here.  What is, is how she is handling it.

When she married this man, I admit, I wasn't thrilled.  In all the years I had known her she had never mentioned him to me.  I only learned of him a few weeks before their wedding so the fact that she was keeping him a secret until now made me more than a little wary of what she was doing.  To me I couldn't see how marrying him was a good idea, but she was in love and this is what she wanted to do.

She had the right to make her own decision.  I supported her in her right to do just that.

Since they became involved I have watched as she has systematically pushed aside those she is closest to.  Her relationships with her family and friends have become strained to the point that she no longer has the circle of love and support she once had.  I find this very sad.

As her marriage has fallen apart she has found it easier to push those that have stuck by her further away to the point that after awhile we stay away.  After all, that is what she wishes and when I spoke to her the last time she actually admitted to it.  She knows she is pushing us away and she feels completely justified in doing so.  In her own words she is hurt, she is angry and she feels like her world is falling apart.  But the reality is that she is in this situation because of the choices she has made for herself.

We are all responsible for our own choices.  The decisions we make have an impact on our lives and quite often those closet to us.  Most of the time our decisions benefit us in a good way, sometimes not so much, but they are our decisions and therefore we are the only ones responsible for their outcome.  Stuff happens.  It is how we handle ourselves that matters most.

After meeting with my friend the last time she has since gone on facebook, of all things, and lashed out at all of the people who have "abandoned her when she needed them most."  I'm sure she includes me in her list of rotten friends, but honestly you can't have it both ways.  You can't push us away and then expect us to still be there.

That being said, when faced with this type of situation I think it is important to conduct ourselves, in the right manner as well.  There but for the grace of God go I.

We've all had our times of crisis and I think it is often easy to be so consumed by our own situation and get so mired down in it that we forget that there is other stuff going on in other people's lives.  Tunnel vision can set in and we can't seem to see past our own problems.  Sometimes our worst behavior comes out and we take aim at the people who love us most and want to help.  Quite often the person offering to help is someone who may need a little help themselves, but they are willing to set aside their own needs to help you instead.

No matter what we are going through, we are not the only ones going through something.  Someone very close to you may in trouble or having a difficult time and you may not even be aware of it.

If you push people away from you enough, eventually they will stay away.  It is important not to slap a helping hand.  Don't reject an act of kindness.  Don't hurt others because you are hurting.  Our opinions and suggestions are not always welcomed or what is needed.

It is also important to remember to try your best not to sit in judgment of other's failings.  We all have our own set.  We've all made mistakes and done things we are not proud of.  My beloved grandmother used to say "we all have our own box of rocks to pack" and she was right. 

So whether we are in crisis or faced with helping someone who is we need to be fully aware of what is going on and how we are handling it.  We need to be careful.

Last Week's Thrifty Moves

I completely went through my freezer to the very bottom to see exactly what we had.  I pulled out a partial bag of hot dog buns and a loaf of banana bread.  The girls used the banana bread for their breakfasts.

I went to dinner with one of my girlfriends Monday night.  We usually go to Sizzler (it's our hangout) and have the salad bar so it didn't cost too much.  Plus I'm not much of a soda drinker and I always drink water so I didn’t have to shell out the extra for a beverage.

I was able to buy a used tire at the tire store to replace the one that blew out on us last summer.  Now our RV has all her shoes in good shape.  They only charged me $25 for the tire and mounted it free and disposed of the old one for free.  I love Les Schwab Tire Center.

Tuesday the girls babysat for a neighbor so I didn't have to cook supper.  I made myself a salad and called it good.

I bought gas this week and used my rewards card to save 10¢ a gallon.  Still it was over $40!

My oldest made a Wacky Cake so we could try it out and use up some leftover frosting in the refrigerator.  That cake was wonderful!

My grocery shopping this week included one dozen eggs, lettuce, cabbage, a loaf of bread and a package of tortillas.

I used a $1 coupon to buy a 16 pound bag of cat food that was on sale.  My final price was $8.99.

We watched Ever After: A Cinderella Story and enjoyed a family movie night on Friday.  I streamed the movie online from Amazon.

Pantry challenge meals we made last week included pork chops with pesto orzo and canned green beans, hot dogs using up a partial package of buns from the freezer and the wieners were already in the fridge.  I used leftover taco meat to top a salad for the one lone diner on Tuesday.  Wednesday I cooked some rice and made a big veggie and chicken stir fry.  There was more than enough left for lunches.  I thawed out taco soup from the freezer to eat for lunches too.  Thursday night we had breakfast burritos - scrambled eggs, cheese, salsa wrapped in a tortilla.  Friday we ate leftover stir fry for supper.  Saturday we used up the last of the hamburger buns and cooked up the last of the hamburger patties.  We also baked some frozen steak fries to go with our burgers. 

How was your thrifty week last week?

Wacky Cake

I found a link to this fun little recipe on facebook yesterday.  I had the girls make it while I was at work, thinking they would have a lot of fun with it.  They did too.  But even better than that, it tastes great!

WackyCake Recipe

Give this one a try and let me know what you think.  You can always was it down with a big cold glass of "half milk". ;)

Saving Money On Milk

A funny thing happened a couple weeks ago.  I bought a gallon of 2% milk and brought it home and my girls didn't like it.  They used to drink it all the time.  Not anymore.

A couple years ago, after seeing an interview on TV, I tried an experiment.  A family of six had found out they were saving a bundle of money every year by purchasing a gallon of whole milk and cutting it 50/50 with water instead of buying the 1% gallons they used to.  I was buying 2% for the girls and skim for myself at the time and decided to try the 50/50, or "Half Milk" as we've come to call it, out on the girls.  If it could pass muster with them then I knew I was good to go.

They noticed immediately the milk was different but not bad different.  They actually liked it.  They said it tasted better.  As far as nutrition goes I don't worry at all about that because my girls rarely just drink an 8 ounce glass of milk, which constitutes a serving.  Almost always they drink a glass twice that size and quite often two of them.

Since switching over to Half Milk I never feel the need to tell the girls to slow down on the milk or worry that they are drinking too much and yes, it has definitely helped the grocery budget.  I've had a lot of feedback from others that have tried this too and it has all been positive. 

Now that we tried to go back to 2% and failed I guess we'll continue to mix our whole milk and enjoy it.  I really like it on my cereal. 

Would you ever consider doing this?  Or do you do it already?

My Uber Thrifty Month - July In Review

With five weekly paychecks I was able to do some real damage last month.  Not only was I able to pay all of our monthly expenses and meet both my financial goals but I was also able to quadruple my savings contribution for the month which also meant I hit a pretty important milestone.  I was able to fully fund my emergency savings account.

I used sales and a $10 store coupon to get a jump start on our back to school expenses and purchased shoes and a back pack for my oldest.  We took an inventory of the school supply box and the girl's wardrobes and were able to determine what we have and what we still need.  Fortunately the items we need to start the school year are relatively few.

We finally sold the handicap ramp from the business to the Make A Wish Foundation so we will be getting a check from them soon.  I plan to put that money into savings as well.

We kept our expenses and purchases to a minimum.  The majority of our purchases were for fuel, food, some toiletries and the two items I mentioned for school.  We conserved electricity and ran the A/C only when necessary which reflected nicely in our electric bill. 

All in all I'm quite pleased with how things went in July.

Last Week's Thrifty Moves

I didn’t do a whole lot of thrifty things last week really.  I didn't spend much either though.

I treated myself and a friend to a movie.  We went on tightwad Tuesday so it was only $5 a ticket.

I finished off a bottle of hair conditioner that had been hanging around the bathroom for quite awhile.  I'm glad to get that big bottle out of there.

On Friday I stopped on the way home from work and loaded us up with fresh produce for the week ahead.  I need my salad fixings.

I finished off a bottle of laundry detergent.  I added water to it to get the last little bit out.

I added milk to a bottle of ranch dressing to thin it down enough to get the last of it out of the bottle.  We tipped it upside down and let it all head to the neck of the bottle.  There was enough for both girls to use on their salad at dinner

I used the bag of banana muffins in the freezer my daughter made as my contribution for the potluck at work.  They were a hit.  No leftovers.

We ate from our pantry and freezer to start off our pantry month beginning on Friday.  Friday we had leftovers so that was easy.  Saturday I thawed frozen turkey meat and seasoned it with a half a packet of taco seasoning I found leftover in the pantry.  The girls finished off a box of crisp taco shells while I made myself a taco salad.

I watched a show on Hulu and one on Amazon.

I listened to a lot of music on YouTube while I was writing.

What thrifty things did you do to save money last week?

Tiny House Living - One Year!

I find it truly hard to believe that exactly one year ago we moved into our RV and made it our home.  It has certainly been an experience, no doubt about that.  So after a year what have I learned from this?

I know for a fact I can truly live in this world with far less stuff.  I could actually do it with less than what I currently have too.  Sometimes I still feel like I have too much.  We also definitely think more before we buy things.

My relationship with my children and their relationship with each other has grown.  We didn't think it possible but we are much closer, kinder and more considerate.  We work together as a team and we all help out to more to evenly disperse the workload.  Instead of it being one person's job to do something we all do the laundry or fix dinner.

Three people cooking in an RV at the same time is actually possible.  We figured out how to do it and now we do it that way most of the time.  We also discovered we can entertain guests and put on a full meal with no trouble at all.

When something goes wrong we figure out how to fix it or improvise and make things work another way.  Case in point was our refrigerator conking out on us and the power inverter shorting out and wreaking havoc.  We also discovered in a crisis our ability to remain relatively calm and handle the situation.

We talk more, laugh more, play more, read more, and enjoy each other's company more.  I find I don't sweat the small stuff like I used to and I have fewer crabby days. J

I've perfected the quick shower and we now know that three girls can manage with only one bathroom and fewer toiletries.  It's amazing!

It doesn't take long to clean house, heat it up or cool it down.

The oven sucks.  Thankfully we have our convection toaster oven to use instead. 

We've had a lot of fun too!