All Done

 

This has been a hard post to write, but the time has now come to close the chapter on my blog.  It is hard to end something you've worked so hard on and put it to rest, especially after eleven wonderful years of sharing my life and meeting so many magnificent readers.  I am truly blessed and thankful to you for the stories we've shared, the encouragement we've given each other and the community that we've built here.

 

It all went by so fast!

As with anything in life things change.  My children are all grown and I no longer have anyone to parent or claim responsibility for.  I no longer do the Mom things I've been doing for the past 37 years.  I don't bargain shop for school clothes, shoes or supplies.  I don't give my children haircuts or pack their lunches in the morning.  There are no more extra-curricular activities, concerts, games and events, back-to-school nights or parent teacher conferences.

 

Over the years I've taught my children to cook, do chores, fix things, take care of animals, take care of themselves and all I know about budgeting and finances.  I've worked hard and given them the best start to their adult lives that I could and to instill a proper set of morals, values and integrity.  That part of my life is now completed.  I have done my job.

 

With that in mind my focus in life must now change.  There has been a shift in what I am now supposed to do.  I'm now a cheerleader, idea bouncer, listener and encourager.  I am no longer a parent, I'm just Mom.  It is a good place to be.

 

It is now time to move on.  The next chapter awaits as I settle into my new role.  It has been a good run and looking back I am so incredibly grateful for it all.  I've been blessed in numerous ways, no doubt about that.  But, don't worry, I won't be gone for good.  I'll still be around, it just won't be here anymore.  If you would like to continue to follow along with me, and I hope you will, I'll be over here and over here.

 

I want to give you a big hug and a huge heartfelt thank you for everything we've shared this past eleven years.  God Bless you now and long into the future.  I'll see you around.

 

Back-To-School = Not-For-Me

 

It felt really weird, but for the first time in thirty years I didn't get a kid ready to go back to school.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  A few months ago I gathered up all the extra office supplies and grabbed the school supply bin and had my girls go through and take what they wanted for college.  After they loaded up I put what was leftover in a bag and donated it.  I no longer have a school supply bin to add to in preparation of this annual event.

 

We didn't go shopping this spring and summer for shoes and clothes on clearance to set aside for Fall.  We didn't go to the thrift stores to find items to fill in the gaps and this fall I won't be picking up the clearance backpacks for a buck or two to set aside for when they need one.

 

I didn't go through the plastic lunch containers or the insulated bags and freezer packs.  I didn't make a new list of lunch ideas for them to pack.  Along with the extra school supplies I also donated their lunch box items.  I didn't do any special grocery shopping for items they might bring to school to eat or for snacking between classes.

 

My youngest headed off for her first year of college, but there wasn't any fanfare about it.  We had been preparing for this for so long and she actually moved out in July, well ahead of the first day of school, with all of her boxes of items we'd been squirreling away.  She didn't need anything new to take with her.

 

One thing I'm very happy about is that there is no check I need to write for school registration and school pictures, although I think I'll miss those annual pictures a little bit.  Normally, I'm gearing myself up for the onslaught of scheduled practices, concerts, conferences, meetings, events.  This year my schedule is clear and I've got nothing on the docket.  It is kind of surreal.

 

Once your youngest has left home there is nothing quite like Back-To-School time to make you realize just how done you are.  It is final.  I've raised my children to be very much ready and prepared for life on their own.  They want their independence and to do things on their own, I totally respect that.  I'm not sad about the finality of my role as their parent or the lack of the back-to-school process and responsibilities.  It just feels weird to not have to do any of that.

 

What does feel good is that now, as their mom, I'm just Mom.  We can talk and visit, but for the most part, I get to what I want.  When I want.  How I want.  I get to schedule my own stuff.  I don't have to work around school schedules and events.  I don't have to deal with the school stuff anymore.  It feels weird.  It feels really weird.

 

Trade Offs Are A Great Option

 

There is nothing quite like a health scare or life events (or even world events) to really make a person take pause and reevaluate the path one is heading down.  Often in life we are faced with wondering if the path we travel is truly the path we should be on, however far too many times we will just continue on.  It takes a lot of strength and courage to realize the path you are traveling isn’t correct and actually do something about it. 

 

Fear is a powerful opponent when it comes to making changes.  Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear that you might get hurt or sick, fear that you might be wrong.  Most of our fears when it comes to change are typically completely unfounded and we need to be realistic about that.  The things that we worry about and lose sleep over usually never come to pass.  So, it is with that knowledge that we need to set aside our fears, power through and carry on.

 

I have always wanted to retire early and when my health became compromised I realized I needed to retire early.  That desire now became a priority and I began to work really hard to get ready for my retirement.   As I was doing this I also realized that if I was willing to live more thriftily I could retire even earlier than my original plan. 

 

At first I was hesitant, but then I re-read a book I had, Your Money Or Your Life, and I quickly realized that not only could I do it, but that I should.  It is all about trade offs and I am quite willing to stop the 9 to 5 rat race and live my life frugally in order to gain my freedom.  I am definitely quite willing to live frugally and stop working to make someone else wealthier.  Time and freedom are now my preferred currency. 

 

If you have any desire to change your current situation, leave the daily grind, retire early or just change jobs I want to encourage you not be afraid to do it.  Read books, watch videos, do your research.  Get ready.  Take the leap.

 

Managing Stress & Anxiety

 

It has been an incredible past two years, A LOT has been happening to us.  The news media pummels us constantly with gloom and doom, our government is at odds with itself and we get conflicting data on just about every topic, especially this pandemic.  An uncertain future awaits us and it can all become extremely overwhelming.

 

I personally cannot afford to get caught up in all of this world drama.  It is too much for me.  What I can do is take care of myself and do the things that make the most sense to me.  I will not get sucked in by every sensational headline.  I won't obsess and worry about the things I cannot control.  I am not going to panic or knee jerk react to whatever the latest crisis is.  I am limiting my exposure and taking most of this nonsense with a grain of salt.  Common sense will rule the day.  Thankfully I have some.

 

I am taking things one day at a time.  Taking deep breaths and staying calm.  Going for walks and praying a lot.  Talking to God is my salvation, always has been.  I used to talk to Him every day on my long walks to and from school.  I feel His presence and I sense His guidance.  And I'm grateful, incredibly grateful.

 

I always feel better when I'm preparing for my future, working on goals, crafting, cleaning my home, preparing a meal, doing something purposeful.  Right now I am very focused on my home, my health and my well being.  I've been posting quite a bit about prepping because I feel deep in my gut and my heart that this is an important thing for me to do.  I hope others do too.  I feel strongly that doing something is so much more comforting than doing nothing and just hoping for the best.  I know the Lord will provide, but I also know God helps those who help themselves.

 

We've been traveling this bumpy road for a while and we'll most likely continue do so for a while longer.  How we choose to travel is the important part.  By taking things one day at a time, focusing on the positive, limiting my exposure to the negative and using good old fashioned commonsense helps me navigate these times and keeps me grounded.  I can do this.  You can too.

 

Health & Wellbeing

 

As you can well imagine, my health and wellbeing is a high priority to me at the moment.  Last year was a rough one, but I'm on the road to recovery and looking forward to the one year mark.  I'm not where I was, but I'm getting closer.  Will I get back to where I was before?  Not likely, but that is completely okay.  Instead of Go-Go-Go I'll just Go.

 

I'm taking a huge step back this year to focus on myself more than I ever have in my life.  My children are all adults now so it is time for ME.  And I have their complete support on this.  They know my struggle first hand and that I've always put them ahead of myself.  I've put a lot of things ahead of myself, but this year will be different and I almost feel guilty about it.  Must be a "Mom Thing".

 

I'm running at a much slower pace these days, but I still find I'm adequately productive.  I'm moving forward with a positive and grateful mindset.  I'm embracing a slower, simpler lifestyle.  I will be eating delicious, nutritious food and drinking plenty of water.  I'll be getting plenty of fresh air and exercise.  I'll be making more time for fun and relaxation.

 

I will share more of the things I'm doing as the year goes on here and on the new blog too.  So if you are interested I hope you'll be checking back.  It is going to be a good year this year.

 

Warning! Blog Changes Are Coming!

 

Not to worry, I am not going away.  It is just time for me to make some changes.  And change is good!  I want to give you a heads up that after the new year this blog is going to be a little different.  And!  I have a surprise for you as well.  But!  I'm going to make you wait until the new year to find out what this is all about.

 

I know some of you love cliffhangers and some of you really don't.  And some of you don't mind change and others really hate it.  But, it will be good, that much I can tell you.  In order to grow we all have to change at some point.

 

This has been an incredible year for me, as so many of you are aware, and it is time for me to switch gears a bit and prepare for my future.  A different future, which is pretty exiting really.  And!  I can't imagine doing it without all of you either.  Stay tuned, updates are on their way!

 

Handling Food Shortages & Supply Chain Issues

 

If you have followed my blog for any length of time you have probably picked up on the fact that I am a meal planner and a budget shopper.  I keep and maintain a well stocked pantry and freezer so I can prepare healthy and delicious meals for my family on a really slim budget.  It has been nearly two years now since the pandemic started and it didn't take long for me to realize after witnessing all the panic shopping that happened at the beginning that it would be prudent for us to start a prepper pantry, which we did in April of 2020.  I continue to enhance and maintain that as well.

 

I always want to be prepared.  I see the writing on the walls and I get busy to make sure I am ready and able to take care of my family regardless of what may come our way.  Whether it is a job loss, unexpected expenses, economic crash or a pandemic, I've seen it all.  I want to be as prepared as possible for any eventuality and so far in my lifetime I always have been.  Thank God.

 

Right now we are seeing something new in that we can't always get what we want when we go to the grocery store.  Prices are steadily rising and meat prices are climbing at an alarming rate.  Simple basics can be difficult to find on any given day.  My advice is to be patient and be prepared to put a little more effort into your shopping.  And if you aren't already, you better get stocked up.

 

I've always been a hunter gatherer when it came to grocery shopping.  For the most part I am not brand loyal so that opens up a lot of possibilities for us.  I've always been out to get the most I can for the least amount of money possible and the best quality I can afford.  It’s a lofty goal, but I think over the years I've pretty much mastered it.

 

My best tips are as follows: 

Shop early and often.  Most stores restock the shelves overnight so get there when the stores open. 

Check the ads weekly and make a list of those items on sale that you know you will use.  Take advantage of loss leaders and stock up.  If soup is on sale for 49¢ with a limit of six, get six.  If toothpaste goes on sale for 88¢ a tube buy a year's supply. 

Sign up for store rewards cards and check their website regularly for digital coupons.  Take advantage of the free offers or money off on purchase deals.  Play their games and win some stuff. 

Shop at several locations to find what you need.  If one location is out of something try another.  Shop outside the box, so to speak.  I don't just shop at the supermarket.  I shop the dollar stores, the outlet grocery store, the restaurant supply grocery store, asian markets, Wal-Mart and the feed stores.  You will be amazed at what you can find. 

Look for marked down items, especially on meats and produce.  Reduced price stickers and tags can be found just about anywhere so keep your eyes open.  Clearance and close out items are a good find. 

Be patient and be flexible.  Don't fret about what you can't find and look for other options.  Be open to trying different brands or something similar.  You may just find something you end up liking better. 

Don't be afraid to ask for help.  If you are struggling to feed your family call 211 (in the U.S.) and speak to someone about the resources available in your area.  Food banks and food pantries, churches, schools and government resources can help you.  There is no need to go hungry.

 

Feel free to share about what you are seeing where you live and any tips you have too.  How are you managing to navigate these challenges and get what you need these days?  Do you find yourself shopping more or less these days?

 

It's Nothing New

 

Last week I went back through perusing my old Thanksgiving and Christmas posts.  I pretty much talk about the same things year after year.  The reason, of course, is because these are our traditions.  And my family wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Throughout the year we deal with a lot of change.  Changes at school, our jobs, in our daily lives.  So when the holiday roll around we don't want to change much.  We just want to settle in to the old familiar routines of celebrating the holidays.  We pretty much decorate the same way with the same stuff, listen to the same music and eat the same foods.  It's what we love and what we know we can count on.

 

With all the crazy that has been our world of late it is pretty wonderful to know that Thanksgiving will be Thanksgiving and all things Christmas will still be Christmas.  We'll still eat good food, bake a lot of the same cookies, put up a tree with all those treasure ornaments and spend time together.  With a few little tweaks here and there, but for the most part, it's really nothing new.  And that is how it should be.

 

What I Now Know

 

I left Boise at 5:00 in the morning on Saturday October 2 to travel to Rochester, Minnesota.  I had appointments set up beginning Tuesday October 5th until whenever they got done with me.  I drove to Gillette, Wyoming and spent the night at a Motel 6 (with a 5 star rating).  A very basic hotel with a comfortable bed.  The next morning I was up early with hot coffee in hand and back on the road.  I arrived in Rochester at 6:00 Sunday evening.  I gave myself an extra travel day and I was glad I did because it was a long drive and I was exhausted.  I rested all day Monday and then Tuesday morning at 6:45 I was at the Mayo Clinic waiting to be seen for my first appointment.

 

I was thoroughly examined and tested from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.  They collected 10 vials of blood and a cup of urine, CT scanned and MRI'd me, slapped on some monitors, asked a gajillion questions and practically had me doing everything but stand on my head.  I asked a ton of questions myself, expressed my own concerns and laid it all out on the table.  After twelve days of that we came up with some answers.

 

MRI

I have Fibromuscular Dysplagia (FMD) and I'm lucky enough to be on the end of the spectrum where it causes problems.  FMD mainly affects your arteries making them thin and weak in some areas and rigid in others causing them to bulge and often times tear or dissect.  I have extensive FMD in my carotid and vertebral arteries with signs of tearing and a flap of torn tissue in my left carotid that would correlate with a possible aneurysm, my colossal nosebleed event at work one year ago.  Because I did not receive the proper medical care and testing at the time it cannot be absolutely confirmed, but it is likely.  With FMD carotid aneurysms can include a significant nosebleed.  I have mild FMD in my celiac and left renal artery.  In a nutshell, as one doctor put it, I have been blessed with really crummy plumbing.

 

The waiting areas are amazing
They have volunteers that come in and play these pianos

The Mayo Clinic does not believe I have Lupus.  Although I do have four of the markers that would lead to a diagnosis of Lupus (apparently four is all you need to be diagnosed as having Lupus) with further testing they are more inclined to believe I simply have a hyperactive immune system, but for me to have both Lupus and FMD would be exceedingly rare.  Not impossible, but very unlikely.  I am completely fine with that idea.  I do not need to have Lupus.

 

CT

I do have a PatentForamen Ovale (PFO) defect in the left chamber of my heart, which is not causing any issues and will not require surgery.  The PFO is not believed to have caused my stroke at age 19, but rather the FMD was likely the culprit although that cannot be completely confirmed.  I've also had three additional very small strokes in my lifetime since then as is seen on my brain MRI, but they appear to be quite old.  There is no evidence of anything new.  Will I have another stroke?  They cannot tell me that.

 

FYI - I have abs just like this

I also have Paroxysmal Supraventricular Tachycardia(PSVT) which came on not long after the big nosebleed and is likely related to the FMD although it could also be a completely separate issue altogether.  Every so often my heart just takes off racing and my resting heart rate is over 100 and sometimes gets up to 200 beats per minute.  Along with that my heart will frequently will skip a beat, Premature Ventricular Contraction (PVC), however they feel this is relatively benign and told me not to worry about that.  I can tell you it definitely does feel weird.

 

Echocardiogram

I have evidence of three myocardial infarctions on the MRI and I still have myocarditis which appears unchanged from the MRI that was done in April.  A viral panel done while I was in the hospital came back negative which negates the initial diagnosis of viral myocarditis.  So what caused the myocarditis and my three cardiac events?  And.  Will the myocarditis get better?

 

In reviewing all of the Mayo Clinic's findings and a lengthy discussion with my cardiologist last week we have come to the conclusion that I have stress induced myocarditis.  There is no other etiology that would suggest otherwise.  At this point, where there has been no significant change, it is still possible the myocarditis will reverse itself, but it might not.  Am I at risk of another heart attack?  No one can answer that.  Maybe, maybe not.  I'm voting not.  As far as heart attacks go, this is the best case scenario as it does the least amount of damage, so I've got that going for me.  😊

 

With FMD the arteries are bumpy instead of smooth

Other than the FMD and my heart issues I am a very healthy post menopausal woman with no reason to expect that I would have a cardiac event, or three, and yet I did.  So what do I do now?  That is yet to be determined.  In the meantime I will take the medication prescribed (I am trying a new one) for the FMD and PSVT and carry on.  You are now officially up to date.  You now know what I know.  Hey, at least we know!

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your support.  Your prayers, your kindness, your love and good wishes have been the best medicine of all.  You wonderful people have made things so much better for me, I cannot tell you enough how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you.  I cannot imagine going through all of this without you all in my corner.  Thank you.

 

 

In The Next Few Months…

 

Fall is coming and just as in nature life has its own seasons as well.  I feel like I am entering a new season in my life right now.  This has been a very strange year for me.  A heart attack (times 3) has literally rocked my world and I know how fortunate I am to still be on this earth and doing as well as I am.  I also know how quickly things can change and that has made me really sit back and take stock of everything.  My children are my most important asset and they mean the world to me.  I know I am an important part of their lives as well and I want to be here for them for as long as the good Lord is willing.

 

Last spring while I was hospitalized I received top notch care.  I left on my own two feet and although still in shock that what had happened to me had really happened I felt blessed and fortunate.  I was diagnosed with an unknown heart defect that was believed to be the probable cause of what was going on with more tests to determine if that was truly the case or if there was something else needing to be addressed.  It turns out there was something else and the heart defect was no longer considered the culprit.  Just a lucky bonus item.

 

The real culprit is a rare disease called Fibromuscular Dysplagia that affects the major arteries.  It is found in about three percent of individuals with ninety percent being women.  In most cases it is mild and goes on unnoticeable and doesn't really cause any problems.  Or, it is on the more serious spectrum where there are complications which includes dissections and aneurysms, heart problems and even strokes.  Guess which end of the spectrum I'm on?

 

The great state of Idaho has wonderful physicians and specialists, but one of the biggest problems I've noticed recently is that due to the massive influx of people moving here our healthcare system is extremely overwhelmed.  Throw in a pandemic for good measure and it is downright insane and very difficult to get ongoing medical care.  Add to that a rare disorder that no one specializes in here and things really become complicated and not in the least frustrating.  I found myself passed around from provider to provider wanting to repeat tests I had already done or didn't need simply because they didn't know what to do with me or wanted someone else to handle it.  I quickly put a stop to that nonsense and made other plans.

 

I have an appointment coming up with the Mayo Clinic and I will be traveling to Rochester Minnesota soon for a proper assessment and treatment plan.  I've been told to expect to stay in Rochester for up to two weeks while they get me all sorted out.  While my insurance will handle the medical expenses I'll need to handle travel and lodging.  It is an unplanned expense, but one I feel is going to be well worth it and I am more than willing to take it on.  I feel really good about my decision to go to the Mayo Clinic.  So far my experience with them has been exceptional and I feel like I'm going to get top notch care once I arrive.  Which is no less than what I deserve.

 

I probably won't post much about this visit until long after I come back home so please be patient with me.  I will need the time to get all my tests completed and digest all of the information I receive as well as work out whatever treatment plan they come up with.  It will be a process.  In the meantime a lot of you wonderful people have reached out to me with your concern and prayers and I appreciate that so very much.  Many of you have asked about a Go Fund Me or some other way that you can help and to be quite honest, as much as I appreciate the thought, it is not something I feel I can do.  But, if you really want to help I would be honored if you just purchased something from my Etsy shop.  I'd feel like you got something for your money and I had earned it.  I hope you can understand.  But know how truly, truly grateful I am that you even care enough to want to do something for me.  It means so much more than I can tell you.  You guys are the best!

 

There is more to this story and many more things coming up, but for now I will stop as I think this post is getting rather lengthy.  It is a post I've wrestled with as far as whether or not I should even write it, but I feel like we're all friends here and friends tell each other stuff.  So here you go.  I'm so glad I have been blessed to know you all.  Please take good care of yourselves, stay well and stay healthy.  XXX