Thursday, February 8, 2018

Mean People Suck!


February is that time of year where we have the opportunity to show people how much we love them.  It is called Valentine's Day and I think it is a wonderful thing.  Now yes, it has grown into a big huge commercialization of cards and flowers and candy, but the reason behind it is good and honorable and important.  Showing your appreciation and love for another human being.

But what about the rest of the year?  And what about the rest of the people in this world?  The ones you know and the ones you don't.  Lately I've been really observing and taking in the personal dynamics of human interaction and quite honestly, it troubles me.  There is a certain element of people that are just downright mean.  And for what purpose?


I know there are many things that form and create a person and their personality.  I'm well aware that a lot of it is due to experiences they've had or things that are going on in their life and what have you.  But be that as it may, our behavior is still ours to own.

Recently I was in a situation where I needed to speak up about someone who was being consistently mean at work.  This is not the first time I've said something, this has been going on for two years now.  However, in this particular instance the behavior needed to be addressed and I did so.


The response coming back to me was that this person "does not intend" to be mean.  This person "does not intend" to cause problems.  This person "does not intend" to upset people.  Therefore this person does not feel the need to take responsibility for what she is doing because she did not intend to cause harm.  The actual behavior itself was not addressed.  But rather what other people need to do because "this was not her intent".

First, I call B.S. because this person knows exactly what she is doing and does it on purpose.  But let's suppose she was truly genuine and "did not intend" to be mean to people.  The reality is -

Your intentions have no bearing on the impact of your actions.

We've all heard the saying The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions and its true.  Here's the thing.  You may have a really nice road going there, but it still leads us all to Hell.


A drunk person does not get behind the wheel intending to cause a fatal accident, however, intended or not, someone still died.

Last week one of my neighbors was involved in a road rage incident with a teen age driver.  I'm sure the young man never intended to do harm when he got into his car that night with all of his friends, but he still ran a woman off the road and scared her unnecessarily.  

And if you follow my facebook page at all you are probably aware of an incident I was witness to at a local Burger King restaurant.  A display of meanness on a level I was completely unprepared for. 


We need to take personal responsibility for our behavior whether our intentions are good or if they are not.  But more importantly, we need to be kind to one another, whether we want to or not.  Our actions have consequences.  They always do.  I want my actions to render good consequences.


I wish everyone did.

UPDATE:  In case you haven't read my facebook post about the Burger King incident I just want you all to know that Burger King took action and I feel really good about the steps they took to address it.  Hopefully the employees involved have learned a valuable lesson and now know the proper way to treat others with respect regardless of what one assumes about them.  

For those who don't  read facebook, the incident I'm referring to was a case of 3 employees laughing and discussing the ways to beat up and throw out a paying customer, because to them, he appeared to be homeless and had been in the restaurant longer than they felt was necessary.  I personally, did not make that correlation at all and we had been in the restaurant about the same amount of time.  It was a horrible experience and I reported it to Burger King's corporate office.





19 comments:

  1. It took a lot of nerve to bring up the person's behavior at work, just to get 'shot down' like it was no big deal. I remember complaining about some 'hood type' girls behavior at work and how mean I thought they were being to some of the patients. My boss told me that I 'just didn't understand their culture." I'm so glad to be away from that stuff now!

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    1. Still counting the days to retirement. It won't be long! :)

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  2. how awful about what happened at Burger King. - I could not work where you are with this person - because of my anxiety - I would constantly be nervous, waiting for them to upset, and/or "be mean". I am glad you said something. I am having a "snow morning" here in my daycare - we had a storm yesterday so I am enjoying a cup of coffee...but everyday we work on kindness to each other in my daycare, how to speak nicely, etc...hopefully my daycare children will carry on the kindness I teach them as they grow into adults.

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  3. I need to print a ream of this post to hand out. I was continually being touched by a young guy who also called me sugar and said other creepy things when he took my groceries to car at night. The second time he did this, I reported him. The response--oh, he is just that way. That's what he does. My response--well, so the serial rapist is just doing what he does. He is just that way? So Ted Bundy, the serial rapist, should have been ignored since raping and killing is just what he does?

    Someone went and told him while I was in the store. He stormed up to me and said he was not a rapist and he certainly would not rape me. The other employees had a difficult time getting him out of my face. Their advice--just avoid him. I was appalled and called corporate. I never saw him again, but he probably sealed his own fate with his anger. Good for you reporting that incident.

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    1. That guy sounds HORRIBLE! I'm glad you didn't let it go went to corporate. We don't have to put up with that.

      I figure this gal is going to reap what she sows and give her enough rope she'll hang herself. The sad thing is she is a very miserable person and has no idea what to do about it. I'm so glad we are smarter.

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  4. It seems to me that there is an awful lot of angry people out there. It could be from any number of reasons and I understand that. But what I don't understand is why it's so difficult to be at the very least just decent to each other. I find it kind of terrible that when I do notice a random act of kindness (and I mean a very basic one) that I feel like it's a miracle and a "one-off" event.

    I agree with you that Valentine's Day gets a bad rap. To me it's a good holiday not only because it isn't related to anything too polarizing like some other holidays might be, it is simply to make someone stop and think in a caring way about someone else. No buying of anything required!

    D.

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    1. I think so too about the angry people. Of course fear is the basis for anger which means there are a lot of fearful people out there.

      Happy Valentines Day! XXX OOO

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    2. People use anger to get their way, I think. No one can reason with them and backs off many times to avoid a confrontation that might be a physical confrontation. They people have their own form of bullying--anger.

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  5. Thank you for your message. I agree, and so does God. There was a sacrifice mentioned in the Old Testament for unknown sins. The people were responsible for their behaviors even if they did not know they had done wrong.

    I wonder if mankind's behavior is getting worse or if it is just being magnified by social media. However, a good deed seems to be more special now days. Is the dark getting darker and the light brighter? I don't have any answers but am just "waxing eloquent about the ways of the world" as my sons would say.

    I hope the situation improves for you at work. It is hard enduring a cruel person beside you every day.

    Jeannie @ GetMeToTheCountry.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm a pretty tough ol' broad. I put on my Kevlar suit and off to work I go! :) It is crazy how mean people go after the really nice ones. Guess that means I'm really nice! :)

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    2. Awwww. Thank you Jeannie. I'm in good company!

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  6. Well said!

    Chris M

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  7. YOu are so right my friend...mean people do suck. I don't buy that whole "well I did not mean to hurt or offend someone" bit on your coworkers part. If this was the first time she had done something and then corrected her behavior and owned up to it, then yes, but there being a pattern here, I call BS too. I'm glad that Burger King took action after what you witnessed. I am hoping those employees were terminated!

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    1. I'm still looking for the good in the world. Hopefully she'll figure stuff out and make a change. Otherwise I fear she will be forever miserable.

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