Answers & A BIG Surprise

 

A couple weeks ago I had a follow up appointment at my cardiologist's office.  I was hoping to get to return to work because I was feeling a bit anxious about my job and my finances.  I've since put all of that worry on the back burner.  It isn't that important in the grand scheme of things and financially we'll be fine so no need to worry about that in the first place.  But I'm a worrier and that is what I do.  As you already know I have been released back to work on a part time basis (I went back on Monday) for up to three months.  I'll take it.

 

At my appointment however, I finally got an answer as to what the heck is going on with me and my heart.  I wasn't prepared for the answer and it literally took me by complete surprise.  It turns out I have a congenital heart defect in my left lobe of my heart.  I was born with it and it has been plaguing me my entire life going undetected and undiagnosed for 56 1/2 years!  I have a what?!!

 

But in looking back it all makes so much sense now.  I've been struggling with this my entire life, but as my cardiologist explained, this is completely normal to me because it is all I've ever known.  I've nothing different to compare it with.  This is by far not my first series of cardiac events, but it is the most serious of any of them.  I've had so many instances in my past that have seemed odd not only to me, but the people around me and now I know why.  Holy cow!  Also, I misunderstood before, but the heart issue is what caused my stroke, not the other way around.  Holy cow!!

 

It took a fair bit of time to work through all of the information I was given, understand that information and get my head wrapped around it.  All the times I've gone to the doctor and been told it was anxiety, indigestion, an asthma flare up or stress.  All the times I have thought I was physically out of shape, coming down with the flu, even a bit touched in the head.  I remember doctors telling my mother I was a "hysterical" child/teenager.  No I wasn't!  I was having heart problems!  Oh my gosh!!

 

While this new information is scary as heck in a really weird way I am so relieved.  I have a lot more tests and doctor appointments in my future to determine the best course of action moving forward and that's okay.  I'm up for it and I know I'm getting the care I need.  Finally.  There is a surgery to correct this defect but it is considered extremely risky and we want to make sure before I venture down this path that there isn't something else we can do instead.  Fingers crossed there is.

 

I'm going to be honest here.  I know that every day I am given is a true gift and there are no guarantees in this life.  When it is our time, it is our time and I've had a really great life.  So many things I'm grateful for and have been blessed with.  Not trying to be morbid here, it's just how it is.  I am content in what I've had this far and whatever the Lord decides is up to Him.  My plan in the meantime is to move forward toward having the best life I can and hopefully, if I'm lucky, I'll still be here for a good long time to come.  And that these new doctors are going to fix me up and keep me going.  What more can a girl ask for?  It is all good!