Somehow, just over a month ago, between leaving my desk at
work and arriving home I lost my eyeglasses.
I have never lost a pair of glasses in my life and I’ve worn glasses
since the sixth grade. I typically
follow the same routine day in and day out so I have no idea how I managed to
lose my glasses. I retraced my steps,
thoroughly searched through my car, my cubicle at work and checked with the
receptionist to see if they had been turned in.
For the life of me I cannot figure out what happened or how I
lost them. They’re just gone. Poof!
I shared with you once before that I have lived with
anxiety issues my entire life. As far
back as I can remember anxiety has played a prominent part in nearly every
aspect of everything I do. It’s my
sidekick. And before anyone makes this
asinine assumption (such as one of my trolling siblings) I do not in any
way blame my parents, my upbringing or anything else for that matter for
why I am this way. It is how I am hardwired and I accept that this is
simply how it is for me. I am very strong and very capable, but anxiety
is definitely my Achilles heel.
Controlling my anxiety is a big part of my life as well
and a constant struggle for me. I’ve done all the right things, accepted
professional help, get plenty of rest, exercise and eat a healthy diet, and so
forth, but the majority of the work I have to do is mental. With anxiety
I do the best I can to take it one day at a time. Sometimes by the hour,
sometimes moment by moment. And then sometimes it gets away from me and I
lose control of it. Anxiety will overwhelm and consume me to the point
that I actually get physically ill. When that happens I have to
take a giant step back. Reset, refocus and then start again.
Losing my glasses was the final straw for me last month.
Followed by the colossal nosebleed and a few other things that took place
around the same time. Once I realized what was happening and saw where I
was headed I threw up my hands and said to myself “STOP”. And then I took
a big step back, took a big deep breath and told myself it is time to reset and
refocus. I have managed to accomplish that and now I’m ready to start
again.
This time around I realize that, due to my age (totally
hate to admit that one), I really need to slow down and pace myself a bit more
than what I have done in the past. I know that I tend to push myself really hard
and that I don’t need to be a massive task master anymore. My greatest
source of stress right now is my job and I’m taking steps to alleviate some of
that. It is a rough one to balance but I have a great boss who is willing
to work with me and help as much as he can to make my job a lot less stressful.
And I am incredible blessed have a great team.
We work really well together and have grown close over the years.
Moving forward I will continue to take things one day at a
time. It is the best I can do right now and know I’ll be fine. Life will carry on as it always does and I am
very glad about that.
Thank you for sharing! I'm so glad you recognize warning signs and are able to take a step back. Praying for your continued success in eliminating stressors and wishing you the best! :))
ReplyDeleteThank you Brooke. :)
DeleteMy daughter suffers from anxiety also. She recently had a DNA test done to determine what medicine she should be taking. Turns out she had been on the wrong one all this time. Since she started the new medicine she is doing much better in these hectic times. Maybe you can look into this.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. :0)
DeleteI need to reset too. This last year and a half have been so hard. So many very difficult things going on in my life and I know I am not alone. My biggest issue is I guess I don't know "how" to reset.
ReplyDeleteThat can be a tough one. I personally sought help to learn a lot of really great coping skills. No regrets.
DeleteYour best healing is exactly what you did: you know yourself, you stepped back. Kuddos to you!!!!
ReplyDeleteSending you big hugs ;-)
Thank you Elle. :0)
DeleteI am glad you shared about your anxiety, last time you did I shared with you that I have anxiety too. It can be just plain terrible. I was diagnosed back in 1985 so it's been a long road for me, diagnosed at almost 22 and I am 57 now. There are times I also have to take big steps back, let things slide.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with that is there? We do what we need to do. Take care!
DeleteSo sorry you lost your glasses. AS far as stress I feel your pain. No matter how hard I try little things trigger me that I should be able to take in stride. The older I get the more it happens. Its a daily process to try to balance life and I have trying. Glad you can talk about it I think that is the most important not to bottle it up. Take care and stay healthy. Joyce pa
ReplyDeleteThank you Joyce. It is crazy how things can snowball sometimes. But it happens.
DeleteI appreciate you sharing this. I, too, suffer from anxiety. Years and years of not recognizing it for what it is only made it worse. Like you, I am at the point where I have learned to recognize triggers. (These may seem silly to some, but that's the nature of the beast.) I avoid them like the plague, and, when I can't avoid them, make allowances in other areas of my life to offset the bill on my mental health. I've been pretty honest with my family about what some of those triggers are--generally they are good about understanding, to the point that they recognize times they need to protect their own mental health.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Meg. I hid it for years, saw it as a sign of weakness. Not anymore. My strength is in my ability to deal with it. Take care my friend. :)
DeleteI'm so glad you are feeling better. Over the past few years I have encountered moments of fight or flight panicky feelings. There have been instances where I became so anxious I couldn't get through it and had to stop and leave: trying to get an MRI being one (I couldn't deal with being in that confining tubal machine) being one of them. I need to take a sedative. I try to do everything one reads about to manage anxiety like yoga, try to eat well, sleep, etc... and sometimes those things will take a bit of the edge off but sometimes not. If those things aren't enough I have homeopathic "chill pills" that I take. Even if they only function as placebo they tend to calm me. I hope you find enough tools to add to your "toolkit" to help!
ReplyDeleteD.
You are in very good company. I have lots of good tools and while meds don't work for me I do find diet and a homeopathic remedy are very helpful. Whatever works! Take care my friend.
DeleteI know people are quick to jump in with a remedy so if you aren't interested, no worries. I'm not pushing it, just suggesting. ;0) I've found so much help in my own life with homeopathy that I love to share it with others. There are lots of websites that I could recommend where you could research but right off the top I'd say Ignatia mamra 30 or 200c 2xD until very much better for anxiety/stress and Ferr phos 6x, 30c or 200c when a nosebleed happens. There are NO side effects with homeopathy. If you are interested in this, the remedies are very inexpensive, probably around $9 a remedy - many times available at a good health food store. Removing stressors is a very good first step of course. Best of luck! Pam
ReplyDeletePam I'm totally with you and homeopathy. Much, much better than pharmaceuticals. I will check out your suggestions. Thank you!
DeleteJust wondering wether you have considered medication. I’ve been a psychiatric nurse for 44 years and I do know that meds aren’t always an answer but often can change peoples lives, often with medications that treat depression/anxiety.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really a good candidate. I do better with therapy on its own. But thank you for your suggestion. I do appreciate it.
DeleteI know all about anxiety. If you don’t have it you simply don’t understand.
ReplyDeleteSo very true. We are part of a very special club.
DeleteI am sorry about the lost glasses. If I lose mine for an hour, I panic and totally cannot see to read! I can see fine to drive, thankfully. You are making so many good preps, so maybe you need to get two pair to have a spare in the future. I need to do that next time I get glasses.
ReplyDeleteOkay,so don't laugh, but I used to be an optician so I have like six pairs of eyeglasses. These were my favorite pair though. I just went for my annual exam and got another pair so back up to 6 pair. The fact that I absolutely couldn't figure out how I lost them (and have yet to find them) really pushed my last button.
DeleteI lose glasses all the time, but it's probably partially because mine are so cheap. I only need dollar store reading glasses, so I pick up a handful at a time because I know my track record is very bad. You're probably already doing this, but I'll mention it anyway: keep a close eye on your thyroid. I suffered debilitating anxiety/panic attacks a few years ago when mine started going wonky, and it took a long time to figure out the problem. It could so easily have been fixed, but I fell through the cracks and suffered needlessly. So just keep a close eye on it; I know you already have one autoimmune disease, and one often begets another.
ReplyDeleteAnxiety is such a common issue now. I struggle with it as well. You seem to have all of the important things in your life in good shape (job, finances, family) and need to give yourself a big pat on the back for what you have been able to do. Also, you do need to not forget to make and take time for yourself regularly. We all need refreshment from the tasks that are never ending and just enjoy our lives. Diane
ReplyDelete