Friday, November 20, 2020

The Butthole Turkey

 


I had been searching high and low for a nice looking turkey figurine to place on the dining room table as part of our Thanksgiving décor and centerpiece.  I looked in stores, the mall, online, eBay, antique shops and after a few years of searching I found the one last year that was the perfect size and had the look I was going for.  And!  I found it at a thrift store so it was only $4.  Bonus!  I snapped it up and after paying for this handsome bird headed home with my new found treasure.  I was thrilled!  So very, very excited by this find.  At home I gave it a quick bath in some hot soapy water and then placed it in the dish drainer to dry while I gathered the items together to create my table centerpiece.  Once all was said and done I stepped back to gaze upon my long awaited masterpiece.  All was as I had hoped it would be and then…  I realized….  What is that?  No way!  They put a butthole on this turkey!  A very obvious butthole!

 


We’re not talking a slight possibility.  No.  An actual and very intentional butthole.  No mistaking it for something else either.  And why, I ask you, do you think it was necessary to add that little bit of rectal attraction?  It isn’t a real turkey!  And not so very lifelike in design as to require all of its reality.  But, (no pun intended) there it is in all its glory for us to gaze upon.  At the dinner table no less.



No matter how I place him somebody inevitably gets the pleasure of sitting across the table in full view of the butthole.  So what, may you ask, are we going to do about this?  Donate it back to the thrift store for someone else to enjoy?  Place a plant in front of it?  Get out the spackle?  Nope.  None of that nonsense.  He’s ours and we’re keeping him!  We just set him on the table and if you are the one who gets to sit behind his behind, then guess what?  You are the guest of honor!

 

 

24 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud the minute I saw your post title today! We commonly make up funny names for things in our family. This gave me a riot of a good laugh, thank you!!! I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving/Birthday season with your family.

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    1. I'm glad we are not alone in that. We have some wacky names and sayings around this house. Happy Thanksgiving Candace!

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  2. Hahahahahaha! That's hilarious! We all need a good laugh like this. :)))

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  3. There is no way I would ever get rid of it! I am now going to have to search for one!

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  4. After a crappy day (pun intended), your turkeys butt made me really laugh out loud!! Thanks, and Happy Thanksgiving

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  5. Hi there!

    This post was just what I needed after a trying week. I laughed and laughed, thank you.

    I hope you and your girls are well. I'm not sure what the latest Covid

    restrictions are in Idaho but I know that, even if they are quite strict, you will be making the very most of your circumstances.

    Hope you are having a lovely weekend.

    Heloise XXX

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    1. Glad I made you smile! We are back to stage 2 but not locked down. Schools are closed and online once again after a partial reopening. Other than that it is business as usual. Have a blessed week. :)

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  6. Great story of how to make a disappointment a fun time. Love the front of the turkey

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  7. That is so funny! How about every Thanksgiving you rotate people as to who sits in front of the butthole each year !

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  8. LOL!!!!! Oh my gosh - this cracked me up!

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  9. Oh, how tacky! Why would anyone design it that way? Now you know why it was donated. Keep it and laugh every time you use it.
    Jeannie@GetMeToTheCountry

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